When it comes to clothing, age acts as a helpful reminder that you’ve outgrown the latest trends. Nothing is worse than showing up to a PTA meeting and looking like one of the students. Check out the following 19 trends to see whether you have outgrown your wardrobe.
1. Over-the-top denim should retire at 35
If a tween bedazzled it, it doesn’t belong in your closet. Focus on simple and timeless styles, such as bootcut jeans.
2. Cheap chonies should retire at 40
Skimping on underwear results in unflattering bumps and bulges, so buy high-quality intimates to keep everything perky and in place.
3. Excessive cleavage should retire at 50
No one wants to feel like you’re going to have a Janet Jackson moment. So get rid of a plunging neckline and leave some to the imagination.
4. ‘Stripper heels’ and other unreasonable footwear should retire at the mid-40s
Sky-high “stripper heels” as well as uber-trendy thigh-high boots, knee-length gladiator sandals are impractical additions to a mature wardrobe and lead more often to blisters than fashion envy.
5. Crop tops and hot pants should retire at 35
Strutting down the grocery isle wearing crop tops or skimpy Daisy Dukes doesn’t reflect a confident, composed woman. Save it for the beach or the gym.
6. Boastful graphic tees should retire at 30
Freedom of expression becomes obnoxious when it’s splayed across your chest. Save bragging and exude your confidence in a high-quality cotton tee.
7. Skimpy skirts should retire at 40
Micro-mini skirts tend to look exponentially trashy with age, so trash the short skirt before it trashes you.
8. Undershirt-inspired tanks should retire at 40
The thin, white, ribbed cotton tank runs the risk of coming off sloppy and classless. If you want to transit from “Gossip Girl” to “The Golden Girls,” It’s better to avoid it.
9. Giant hobo bags should retire at 50
Oversized, slouchy, embellished hobo bags are hard to incorporate into a timeless look. It’s better to replace them with a more practical designer clutch.
10. Taking accessories from teens should retire at 35
Nail glitter, arm candy, and animal print anything substantially age their victims rather than keep them looking young and hip.
11. Peek-a-boo bra straps should retire at the early 20s
Bra is UNDERwear, not outerwear. You’re not tricking anyone with those bra straps. Wear specialty bras that you can comfortably pair with strapless or backless.
12. Mamas in tiaras should retire at 5
Preschool-Aged girls look cute in a pretty tiara. You, on the contrary, look like a washed-up beauty queen wannabe. Replace lavish headwear with reasonable statement pieces.
13. Color coordinated makeup should retire at 16
Making an outrageous shadow is easy to make you go from drop-dead-gorgeous to drop-out-drag. It’s better to make subtle hues without lots of shimmers.
14. Sleezy clubbing dresses should retire at 28
If it looks like it belongs at a club screaming for attention, it doesn’t belong to your DVF collection.
15. Outrageous socks should retire at 22
Outrageous socks are more of a fashion faux paus than a trend, especially a pair of mismatched socks. It’s just crazy.
16. Cowboy couture should retire at 21
If you’re not a cowgirl on the fence, on the side of tossing them, or on a workday around the house, overalls were an endangered look.
17. Message-bearing booties should retire at 18
Brand names sprayed across the booty should retire in your high school days. No matter how cute they are.
18. Platform footwear should retire at 24
Spice Girl-era platforms have been out as far as any self-respecting 20-plus-year-old is concerned.
19. Scrunchies should retire at 12
These colorful hair accessories are an indication of not wanting to grow up. So pull yourself together and put on a high-fashion pony that fits for any occasion.
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